im not facing any difficulties now. it's just alhamdulillah bcs it probably ended. though i'm quite sad. haha. idk for how long nak rasa the same sadness. for the same reason. which is kawan. rasanya timeless alhamdulillah and timeless sedih over the same shit. tp takpa lah just alhamdulillah,

oh last night i met my friend so we cleared the air. 

alhamdulillah clearer. in shaa Allah.

just ada certain parts i just unable to tell him bcs i felt that was our last meeting. sedih doh. we both realized things won't be the same and we had to agree lah with that. back then when he said that we couldn't understand each other, i think the only time we can understand each other is when we get married. haha tapi tak cakap pun bcs if last night was our last meeting i just wanna enjoy every seconds left rather than saying stuff yang memang tak tau berakhir macam mana.

i'm so sorry even after years pun i just can't accept you more than what we have. i once loving u too much up until i lose myself. it was bad. because when the person i love refused to do the same thing, i eventually slowly hating you. i'm so sorry. then i seek my own happiness so i can forget the sadness. that's why now my heart is no longer for u. it's actually for Allah. bcs along the way i learn something. i should stop putting so much expectations on people, i should stop hoping on people and i should stop chasing over your acceptance until i have to do things i dislike bcs i don't wanna hurt u back then. and yes now i found someone new and i just cant let him down. even dia tak mintak pun all these. bcs apa pun swear i don't wanna do the same thing as what u did to me. i don't wanna be u. even dia tak minta ke apa i just need to respect everything especially his feelings bcs he's too kind and i just can't hurt him. sorry if at this moment i hurt u and your feelings. i was wondering why u came when my heart is already for someone else ): why u don't wanna do that earlier ): why u keep that for so long ): why u hurt me along the way ): i'm so sorry ): the current situation now is different bcs now i put my Lord more than anyone else. sorry ):

it's okay. i was actually wanted say that time will eventually decide. what's the best for us. that's why when u said everything i chose to keep quiet. bcs i don't wanna say anything. at this moment, what's important is, i put Allah first and also i want to avoid from breaking his heart. the rest i just cant figure out now. i'm done saying things or making quick decisions because ended up makan diri aku balik. just like the case of minta tunggu. so i chose to keep quiet so that time will decide and we'll see how it goes. 

sorry again. and thank you for everything. be good as always. 

goodbye.