# shit
Monday, August 8, 2016 / permalink
truth is even after months been swallowing the truth, i realised that i'm not fully accepting the fact that i lost my best friend. I read the old messages. That moment when we both know that we're best friend and I was happy that time because I have someone I can rely on. I can trust. I can share my sadness even my happiness. We both agreed with the title. Maybe I was too naive. Because I thought we gonna last longer like others. You know between me and Atifah. Me and Madie. Hehe.
by reading the old messages. analysing the past. analysing the decision that has been made by me. probably would help me to accept the truth even more. tapi no. the fact is i can't accept that weh ); totally can't for now. the heart is totally broken weh. i lost one of my precious jewels. slowly ya Allah. slowly i can accept that. i know that. i know something that has been gone will be replaced with something else. even better. in shaa Allah. Allah knows how much it hurts ):
i know weh. u did try to show me the real you. alhamdulillah weh. the lesson from this mistake is actually when we should actually be ourselves. show them the true colour so we might know whether that particular person can accept us or not. it hurts me a lot by seeing you acting like this. unexpected things i can say. i can accept you the totally u but yes true as what u said i am not myself for being that. tbh he was the first person yg i can see his other side. when he's helpless. when he's not in mood. dan banyak lagi side side yg aku tak pernah tengok even his dark side. i accepted that. tapi serious sedih when we used to be best friend kan tapi u treated me like aku tak pernah jadi kawan kau pun. hurt me when u feel like hurting. lie when u feel like lying. push me like kau tak pernah kenal aku langsung. u were totally different when we were at that stage weh. i'm wondering. am i dealing with the real you? if i can't bear with the truth then how it goes? truth is, i accepted so many things. and i believed the good in you even with the shitness you throw to me. until this one point i think i can no longer bear the pain. i was getting weaker and the hatred was slowly growing stronger.
i am sorry.
but why this thing happened eh? ):
even I've made my decision tapi still the pain is still there. because i can't accept the fact that i'm losing my best friend. but staying at the same dark spot is saddening.
and i know i shouldn't ask why because things happen for a reason.
to you my friend. be good. as u are! and I'll always miss you.
goodbye.
by reading the old messages. analysing the past. analysing the decision that has been made by me. probably would help me to accept the truth even more. tapi no. the fact is i can't accept that weh ); totally can't for now. the heart is totally broken weh. i lost one of my precious jewels. slowly ya Allah. slowly i can accept that. i know that. i know something that has been gone will be replaced with something else. even better. in shaa Allah. Allah knows how much it hurts ):
i know weh. u did try to show me the real you. alhamdulillah weh. the lesson from this mistake is actually when we should actually be ourselves. show them the true colour so we might know whether that particular person can accept us or not. it hurts me a lot by seeing you acting like this. unexpected things i can say. i can accept you the totally u but yes true as what u said i am not myself for being that. tbh he was the first person yg i can see his other side. when he's helpless. when he's not in mood. dan banyak lagi side side yg aku tak pernah tengok even his dark side. i accepted that. tapi serious sedih when we used to be best friend kan tapi u treated me like aku tak pernah jadi kawan kau pun. hurt me when u feel like hurting. lie when u feel like lying. push me like kau tak pernah kenal aku langsung. u were totally different when we were at that stage weh. i'm wondering. am i dealing with the real you? if i can't bear with the truth then how it goes? truth is, i accepted so many things. and i believed the good in you even with the shitness you throw to me. until this one point i think i can no longer bear the pain. i was getting weaker and the hatred was slowly growing stronger.
i am sorry.
but why this thing happened eh? ):
even I've made my decision tapi still the pain is still there. because i can't accept the fact that i'm losing my best friend. but staying at the same dark spot is saddening.
and i know i shouldn't ask why because things happen for a reason.
to you my friend. be good. as u are! and I'll always miss you.
goodbye.
