# Chit Chat Raya Keenam
Sunday, July 2, 2017 / permalink
Hello!
Lama tak menulis. I owe you PTD part 2. Please be informed, I failed my PTD interview. Tapi I'll try my best to share my part 2 experience eh. Untuk kebahagiaan kita bersama ecewah.
Dah seminggu 2 hari, kita raya. I'm on my 3rd day of ganti puasa. Ada balance 8 hari lagi. Hahahahah. Iye 11 hari tinggal puasa. LOL. Masa Jumaat lepas, raya ke-6 haritu, I had my iftar with Helmi and Nizar. And we talked about our past. Honestly, I dislike to talk about my past. If some past experiences aren't that good to be remembered, I swear I just wanna forget about it. It means any form of actions that remind me of my past, shall be avoided. LOL.
Aku tunjuk Nizar pasal tweet aku yg "What is the most hurtful thing in love". Then, mula lah start conversation pasal tu and they talked about past relationship. Then they asked me pasal ex etc. I said I counted my past lover as sorang which is yeah (you know who). The rest are just cinta monyet. If cinta monyets are counted, there were 3 (as counted by Nizar). I don't even remember pun aku pernah dengan siapa. Tapi yeap within 8 years I had 3 compared to Nizar & Helmi, they have numerous (boleh lost count okay si Nizar). Helmi admitted his real past lovers were 2. Kira banyak lah kot 3. LOL. Sebab ada kawan perempuan aku never had a boyfriend ke apa. Haaa gettew. Then yes. Their face were semi-shocked. Then I explained, after me and Syawal decided to break up, I stay single for 4 years. Yes. I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't get over him. It took a lot just to completely forget him. 4 tahun untuk kenal diri sendiri. Self-improvised. Etc. Yes I admit, banyak juga perubahan. Tapi I learnt a lot along the way. Even Syawal pun cakap ada perubahan lah pada diri. LOL. Now I found weh my new bae. I hope this will be last longer than before. Aamiin. I will write about him on my next blog. It'll be an endless text. Hihi.
Okay then they asked me "what did you do throughout 4 years". Then I said, I was with my friends. Most of the time I spent was for my family and my close friends. Close friends like my PD friends, Elia & Fida, Melati girls, etc.
Then they asked, "masa kat uni takda ke orang usha ke apa?". Aku terdiam lah sekejap like, yeah right aku ni takda siapa nak pun. Hahahahahha. Idk. Aku geleng kepala je ok. Helmi cakap probably ada but when they saw my bitch face they terus tak jadi. Hahahahahhaha. Yelah kot. Tak tipu lah ada je cakap muka aku sombong, and orang senyum aku tak balas. Sometimes aku tak sedar pun weh aku buat macam tu kat orang. Tetiba orang tegur macam tu. Tapi logik jelah sebab aku tak friendly dengan sesetengah orang. Aku jujur, aku tak banyak cakap, probably aku jenis selesa berada di zon sendiri. I don't feel like expanding my circle of friends etc. Idk. Tapi if aku selesa dengan one or two person, they'll be my friends till the end. I don't bother about anyone else. I do accept anyone nak jadi kawan, tapi takda pun takpa kot because I have these people yang aku dah percaya. Ye. It's hard for me to put on trust to people. So sebab tu kot. Susah kot nak jumpa orang baru or probably dapat kawan baru. It takes a lot of processes for me to be closed with someone. When I trust them, then only we can be closed. Then, tak semestinya bila close, I can open up with you. Hahahahha. Sumpah doh. It's a loooooooooong process doh. Ni mmg naturally macam ni. I didn't create such complex process. Tapi memang macam ni. T_T. I admit sometimes menyusahkan, sometimes I'm okay with it.
Yes they talked about friendliness as well malam tu. Nizar cakap aku bukan kategori friendly. Lol. Malas ah nak justify. Ni berkait dengan statement di perenggan di atas. I get friendly to some of people. Bukan sebab I trust them. Tapi I can feel the chemistry. Entah doh. Kat mana mana pun kita boleh jadi dua orang yang berbeza. Bila aku kat tempat kerja, ada dua jenis diri. Satu yg gila gila or happy go lucky. Satu, yang diam menyendiri and tak cakap dengan orang. Idk. Tengok lah tahap keselesaan kita pada orang sekiling kita kan? I bet you can understand me. Please say yes T_T
Idk people. Masa menulis ni, I realized lah some weaknesses sebenarnya. Idk doh weakness ke strength ke lol. We define this differently. Tapi one thing jelah aku nak cakap, if you cannot change yourself, just be yourself jelah. Tapi in better version lah! Probably bila you not friendly during uni ke apa, try lah change slowly. Because, bila aku dah kerja, I'm friendlier a bit lah. A BIT. Memang lah progress tu slow ciput tak nampak, tapi believe me, every day is a learning process doh. I believe that eventually you'll be a better person. If you're comfortable with yourself macam tu, ambil lah as much time as you want nak jadi camtu. When the time comes, and you realized that guna jadi macam tu, you'll willingly to change. You'll willingly to improve yourself. After aku break up dengan Syawal, I changed from a girl yang nak teman teman, to a girl yang quite independent. Sekarang terasa biasa pula untuk settle kan hal sorang sorang, like you drive alone to here and there. At the same time, learn from others jugak weh. You are not living alone doh. When you with your friends ke sedara ke family ke, try learn from them. Anything yang kau suka and you think it's good for you, take it as a part of you. Then suaikan lah dengan diri kau. Selalunya bila kau ada idola sendiri, kau akan try untuk jadi seakan akan orang tu. Tapi paling best, if kau jadi the best version of you. Kalau perangai tak suka tunggu and cuba hormat masa orang lain, I pick my dad as a source of example. Kalau perangai tak tengking orang, like be soft to people, I pick my ibu or my lil bro. Kalau perangai tanak judge orang, mostly from my friends. Haa banyak lah example. You learn from them. Try okay.
Okay lah. Aku cam tak dapat relate pun sebenarnya. Tapi aku nak tulis juga.
Till we meet again on the next topic about PTD part 2, pasal what people have gone through to be a better person.
Goodbe.
Lama tak menulis. I owe you PTD part 2. Please be informed, I failed my PTD interview. Tapi I'll try my best to share my part 2 experience eh. Untuk kebahagiaan kita bersama ecewah.
Dah seminggu 2 hari, kita raya. I'm on my 3rd day of ganti puasa. Ada balance 8 hari lagi. Hahahahah. Iye 11 hari tinggal puasa. LOL. Masa Jumaat lepas, raya ke-6 haritu, I had my iftar with Helmi and Nizar. And we talked about our past. Honestly, I dislike to talk about my past. If some past experiences aren't that good to be remembered, I swear I just wanna forget about it. It means any form of actions that remind me of my past, shall be avoided. LOL.
Aku tunjuk Nizar pasal tweet aku yg "What is the most hurtful thing in love". Then, mula lah start conversation pasal tu and they talked about past relationship. Then they asked me pasal ex etc. I said I counted my past lover as sorang which is yeah (you know who). The rest are just cinta monyet. If cinta monyets are counted, there were 3 (as counted by Nizar). I don't even remember pun aku pernah dengan siapa. Tapi yeap within 8 years I had 3 compared to Nizar & Helmi, they have numerous (boleh lost count okay si Nizar). Helmi admitted his real past lovers were 2. Kira banyak lah kot 3. LOL. Sebab ada kawan perempuan aku never had a boyfriend ke apa. Haaa gettew. Then yes. Their face were semi-shocked. Then I explained, after me and Syawal decided to break up, I stay single for 4 years. Yes. I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't get over him. It took a lot just to completely forget him. 4 tahun untuk kenal diri sendiri. Self-improvised. Etc. Yes I admit, banyak juga perubahan. Tapi I learnt a lot along the way. Even Syawal pun cakap ada perubahan lah pada diri. LOL. Now I found weh my new bae. I hope this will be last longer than before. Aamiin. I will write about him on my next blog. It'll be an endless text. Hihi.
Okay then they asked me "what did you do throughout 4 years". Then I said, I was with my friends. Most of the time I spent was for my family and my close friends. Close friends like my PD friends, Elia & Fida, Melati girls, etc.
Then they asked, "masa kat uni takda ke orang usha ke apa?". Aku terdiam lah sekejap like, yeah right aku ni takda siapa nak pun. Hahahahahha. Idk. Aku geleng kepala je ok. Helmi cakap probably ada but when they saw my bitch face they terus tak jadi. Hahahahahhaha. Yelah kot. Tak tipu lah ada je cakap muka aku sombong, and orang senyum aku tak balas. Sometimes aku tak sedar pun weh aku buat macam tu kat orang. Tetiba orang tegur macam tu. Tapi logik jelah sebab aku tak friendly dengan sesetengah orang. Aku jujur, aku tak banyak cakap, probably aku jenis selesa berada di zon sendiri. I don't feel like expanding my circle of friends etc. Idk. Tapi if aku selesa dengan one or two person, they'll be my friends till the end. I don't bother about anyone else. I do accept anyone nak jadi kawan, tapi takda pun takpa kot because I have these people yang aku dah percaya. Ye. It's hard for me to put on trust to people. So sebab tu kot. Susah kot nak jumpa orang baru or probably dapat kawan baru. It takes a lot of processes for me to be closed with someone. When I trust them, then only we can be closed. Then, tak semestinya bila close, I can open up with you. Hahahahha. Sumpah doh. It's a loooooooooong process doh. Ni mmg naturally macam ni. I didn't create such complex process. Tapi memang macam ni. T_T. I admit sometimes menyusahkan, sometimes I'm okay with it.
Yes they talked about friendliness as well malam tu. Nizar cakap aku bukan kategori friendly. Lol. Malas ah nak justify. Ni berkait dengan statement di perenggan di atas. I get friendly to some of people. Bukan sebab I trust them. Tapi I can feel the chemistry. Entah doh. Kat mana mana pun kita boleh jadi dua orang yang berbeza. Bila aku kat tempat kerja, ada dua jenis diri. Satu yg gila gila or happy go lucky. Satu, yang diam menyendiri and tak cakap dengan orang. Idk. Tengok lah tahap keselesaan kita pada orang sekiling kita kan? I bet you can understand me. Please say yes T_T
Idk people. Masa menulis ni, I realized lah some weaknesses sebenarnya. Idk doh weakness ke strength ke lol. We define this differently. Tapi one thing jelah aku nak cakap, if you cannot change yourself, just be yourself jelah. Tapi in better version lah! Probably bila you not friendly during uni ke apa, try lah change slowly. Because, bila aku dah kerja, I'm friendlier a bit lah. A BIT. Memang lah progress tu slow ciput tak nampak, tapi believe me, every day is a learning process doh. I believe that eventually you'll be a better person. If you're comfortable with yourself macam tu, ambil lah as much time as you want nak jadi camtu. When the time comes, and you realized that guna jadi macam tu, you'll willingly to change. You'll willingly to improve yourself. After aku break up dengan Syawal, I changed from a girl yang nak teman teman, to a girl yang quite independent. Sekarang terasa biasa pula untuk settle kan hal sorang sorang, like you drive alone to here and there. At the same time, learn from others jugak weh. You are not living alone doh. When you with your friends ke sedara ke family ke, try learn from them. Anything yang kau suka and you think it's good for you, take it as a part of you. Then suaikan lah dengan diri kau. Selalunya bila kau ada idola sendiri, kau akan try untuk jadi seakan akan orang tu. Tapi paling best, if kau jadi the best version of you. Kalau perangai tak suka tunggu and cuba hormat masa orang lain, I pick my dad as a source of example. Kalau perangai tak tengking orang, like be soft to people, I pick my ibu or my lil bro. Kalau perangai tanak judge orang, mostly from my friends. Haa banyak lah example. You learn from them. Try okay.
Okay lah. Aku cam tak dapat relate pun sebenarnya. Tapi aku nak tulis juga.
Till we meet again on the next topic about PTD part 2, pasal what people have gone through to be a better person.
Goodbe.
